Law&Faith - TTT

[Misotu]

Brother Kirov, that is a *serious* attack fleet. Now, while you and I have a close personal relationship embracing similar views on nerve gas, gays, evolution 'n all, my Pointy Stick and Not Much Else General is demanding that I seek your reassurance that those troops aren't heading for our shores.

I mean ... I just got the place looking how I like it? You ***wouldn't***!  Would you? It's chintz and knick knacks around here!

And you didn't quite answer my question on infiltration either ...  :fear:

[Kirov]

Sister Misotu, you have my word that that fleet is not coming your way. Quite to the contrary, it is intended to follow your very specific instructions. Soon, the eco-terrorists will bother you no more.

Remember that I could easily hide that freight in fungus if I didn't want it to be spotted. But we're in a hurry here. And consider this - is it really such a huge army to invade your burgeoning empire? Meagre five army-issue Mini Coopers? You would dispose of them in a minute. No, if I wanted to invade you, the very skies would turn dark from... but don't let me digress. Anyhow, you're safe.

And why do you want to know about the inifltration? No, I don't have it.

Dear Sister, I don't know how I can put your mind at ease but I'm desperate to do it.

[Misotu]

Dearest Bro, *I* am desperate for you to put my mind at ease. But I can't help noticing that to arrive at the Gaian bases you needed to turn *LEFT*.

This is so difficult. I am just going to have to trust your word that you won't pitch up in my waters. We've just decorated our HQ in a fetching shade of magnolia. We don't want it all smoke-blackened and splattered with the detritus of your inquisitors' ... er ... conversations with the less worthy of our workers.

Planet is a lovely and spacious place. Perhaps you could take a scenic tour of other factions' coastlines?

[Misotu]

In addition Brother ... and I really do have to take a strong line here ... your mini coopers are equipped with *nerve gas*   

Think of the Charter! Think of the Lord! He said "suffer the little children to come to me" and most emphatically not "make the little children suffer".

There is yet time Brother. There is time ...

[Kirov]

Dear Sister, I assure you that my units will hit the eco-lunatics and will hit them hard. But surely you don't want me to disembark where they most expect me? No, if our Blitzkrieg is to succeed, we must bypass their first line of defence. I'm turning NW next turn, don't worry.

And yes, I installed a few nerve gas pods for better morale of my troops. It is legal to own nerve gas under the Charter, isn't it? I swear I'm not going to deploy it unless I'm forced to. You know what Jesus says about nerve gas? "It's better to have it and not need it than need it and not have it." It's right there in the footnotes.

Sister Misotu, it is just a few units, followed by maybe a few more. They wouldn't possibly be able to inflict a lot of damage on you if they wanted to, which they don't. Just trust me on this. God approves of what we're doing and if it doesn't convince you, well I have a UN Resolution authorising the attack. Here, it's signed by you. I believe this really brings us only closer that all the carnage and chaos that ensues will bear your stamp of approval. Our PR team has it so much easier.

[Kirov]

And Sister, trust me - you wouldn't spot those units if they were heading your way. I parked next to you because I just didn't mind (I have Radar systems so had plenty of room to turn and hide in fungus). So in a way, that's the best sign of good will I could show you. I can't send you flowers so here, have this apple. 

You can monitor my units as they go, but please please don't do anything to stop them. That would be a perfect example of a self-fulfilling prophecy. Just let me go NW. Put your crawlers and formers on the coast if you're so afraid. My units are not amphibious so they need space to disembark.

[Misotu]

Well, ok ...     I *did* say rubble them a bit. But I'm not sure that amounted to a UN sanction. More a fit of pique really   

Well, I certainly won't try to stop you. Although if you take their territory that puts us very uncomfortably close, border-wise. I'm not sure the UN will approve.

I don't have enough formers and crawlers to guard my coastline. But I agree it could be done.

Hey ho. I never liked the Gaians much anyway, with their whimpering Green economics and that snooty Deirdre.

[Misotu]

I'm feeling quite resigned. Blind research just let me down Big Time.   

[Kirov]

Don't worry, I won't take most of her territory, I just want to establish an outpost or two and the rest will go back to her when she goes submissive (see, I'm not planning to use the gas).

I'm sorry about the research, but if it cheers you up, just think about the poor Gaian defenders. They're gonna have their day ruined in 3... 2...

[Misotu]

Well, I didn't really know what to do next but then it occurred to me that we haven't had an election for a while, so I called one just to keep things interesting.

I couldn't remember how to do a screenshot, but the situation is:

Dee, Domai, Uni all abstained (104 votes in total)
Roze and Morgan voted for me (no idea why really since Roze hates me and has been permanently seething all game). So with my votes that gives the Noble Peacekeepers 420 votes for.

I didn't hold the game up or anything as I'm not up for a bribe on this one 

PS  I suspect your "outpost or two" will include her HQ and any SPs? Just askin'.

[Misotu]

I expect you will bribe Roze or Morgan BTW, but I shall count it as a Very Unfriendly Action if you do, since I distinctly recall you declaring it our joint purpose to get the Noble Peacekeepers elected to their proper place 

[Kirov]

My God, Sister, this is a brilliant move! Of course you won the election in a landslide. I'm so happy you'll be the Governor.  And my neighbour!

[Misotu]

Not very brilliant getting elected as the Peacekeepers, I know    

I like having neighbours but I'm not sure you'll like the neighbourhood. Truly. I don't mind running the captured bases for you if you like?

[Misotu]

I've just realised that it's really late ... so that was my last turn tonight, I have to turn in. See you tomorrow if you're on-line 

[Kirov]

Alas, my dear Sister, the worst thing happened! It turns out that my units are much weaker than her pulse garrisons shielded behind the perimeter defence. Only the nerve gas gives me any fighting chance. I'm afraid I will have no choice but issue this most terrible order.  That's one Peacekeeping mission going awry.