Festivus (Uno's annual holidayish type discussions)

[Rusty Edge]

Speaking with experience as a former farmer with lots of neighbors and landlords, friction is inevitable  and it goes both ways, but in the long run it's better to turn those neighbor relationships into friendly ones whenever possible. Trusting and respectful, at least. Neighbor wars take too much energy, tend to escalate, and you're too vulnerable to each other unless you're always there and watching, which only makes you prisoners. I always advise and encourage everyone to take a give and take approach with their neighbors, because the shoe could be on the other foot tomorrow, and likely will be eventually.

[Unorthodox]

Kristmas Kitchen Kalamity Kavalcade this weekend. 

2 batches sugar cookie dough finished. 
Items for the rest bought.

English Toffee has become a staple. 
Going to possibly attempt a new peanut brittle and a random recipe from the pile grandma was throwing away. 

[Geo]

ANYHOW.  This party typically sees about 25-75 people every year, depending on weather and who's got what going on that day and which kids are home.  So, hEt gets a text over the weekend.  "We're happy to make the fliers and pass them around the neighborhood, but we need help with the party.  Would you mind supplying the donuts and cocoa?" 

Full stop.  We just got done doing pizza/donuts/cocoa to a much wider area, not to mention the walkthrough and candy the night of.  We've NEVER asked for help with the party.  Even the year I was out of work, we'd found a way to make that party happen without asking for help.  I'm absolutely boggled by this. 

I'm sorely tempted to point out the illegality of the donation box.  Any kind of gathering you need a license to collect money, even for a charity.  (it's why I don't for halloween)

If I may be so curious, anything further happening on this one?

[Unorthodox]

Party was...Monday? Tuesday? 

We basically ignored the text and nothing come of it. 

Bitterly cold.  Practically no one showed up.   Whoever made the hot chocolate basically heated water and forgot the chocolate.  Someone ended up bringing doughnuts but they were literally freezing. 

We put in a 'polite appearance' only, and got out as soon as reasonable. 

I mostly chatted business with a neighbor teen who had worked a local haunted house, giving advice on how to handle people for next year, which she's excited to do again.  Her experience will let her be a line worker next year, which is difficult but rewarding. 

I have a real distaste for the fact they use real wood firepits, so you smell like campfire afterword.  Have offered my gas options several times.  Maybe once I get the mushrooms. 

[Unorthodox]

Busy weekend.

I decided to split the Kristmas Kitchen Kalamity Kavalcade into 2 this year.  Only cooked for work last weekend, will do the family next.  So, it was a busy weekend but not oppressive like normal. 

In the middle, my brothers put on a Christmas show for their church. 

1.  I was not invited.
2.  I was not exactly welcomed last time they did this.
3.  I'm forgetting the word I agreed on at the moment, so we'll settle for that awful example of the gender my brother married was running the show, and we...well...

Despite that it was made known to me my parents were going to be most displeased if I did not show up.  So, I did what I normally do in uncomfortable situations, and just brought along the camera.  Now, my niece went to school to learn photography to help the business, but she was going to be singing in this production, and I figured she'd be glad I was shooting at least.

Indeed, we (me and 2 kids) skip the social hour portion, and show up just before the concert, and my niece is thrilled someone is going to take some pics. 

I know I reviewed the last show somewhere on here. 
Musically, they played it VERY much safer this time, specifically choosing more church friendly music. 

If you've ever been to a trans-siberian orchestra show, they pretty much put that on last time.  Nothing necessarily wrong with that, but this being TEH CHURCH, some references to a bar didn't go over well. 

They also had someone mixing sound that knew what they were doing, so it was mostly much better sounding. 

They wrote a spoken script between musical pieces, trying to copy the TSO show format, but make it CHURCH...and it was horrible.  Preachy was to be expected, but oh my.  Writing is not among the gifts my brother has. 

My niece had no business being up there singing. 
My nephew had skipped all practices and got essentially cut out of the show. 
My older brother played worse than I've ever heard before (but he's still a good guitarist)
My younger brother was bored out of his mind tapping drums on boring songs. 

Anyway, it gets done and I'm ready to get out of dodge.  I track down my niece and hand her the card from the camera, telling her I shot it all in raw specifically so she can edit it easily.  (well over 100 pics) 

She don't know how to edit raw files. 
How...
Why...
What...
SHE WENT TO PHOTOGRAPHY SCHOOL SPECIFICALLY LEARNING TO SHOOT AND EDIT.  GRANDMA BOUGHT HER A TOP OF THE LINE DSLR FOR THIS PURPOSE.  How do you NOT shoot in RAW?!?!  Shooting Jpeg is completely counter to the whole concept...

*sigh*

Parents didn't speak to me while there.  Brother's wife was pissed I showed up.  Sister in law (other brother) was glad to see Talia and along with niece was the only one to talk to me. 

Just another annoyance while I  try to do my best to maintain the peace. 

[Geo]

I do hope your parents talk to all their grandchildren?

[Unorthodox]

It's complicated. 

I'm the black sheep, and it does rub off onto the kids some. 

Both my brothers from the get go run home with every problem.  My parents help, either with money or with labor. 

We don't, we'll deal with the problem ourselves, and have since I left the house.   

Both my brothers see my parents daily, we don't.  Weekly at most.  Part of this is proximity, but part of it is I just don't care to. 

Both my brothers arrange their vacation to align with my parents and go camping in one big jamboree.  We like our family vacations getting out to see things ourselves, not go to the same damn campground every year. 

Both my brothers work at the music store.  I don't. 

So, it's a bit galling sometimes, but no, they don't have the same relationship with my kids as their other grandkids, but I don't know that I would change how I've handled things.  We treated my in-laws the same, really, and they always made sure to spend time with our kids, inviting them to activities or sleep overs, etc.  We've tried, really, to get my parents to invite our kids to anything to no avail.

[E_T]

IIRC, one of your Brothers tried to get you to "invest" in his business (or some other BS), which caused ya'll giga-tons of grief.

Now that the kids are getting older (and wiser), how do they feel about the situation.  I hope that they don't take it badly.  I really doubt that they would (as they ARE hEt's and your's kids...) but could still have some emotional turmoil over time.

[Unorthodox]

Yes.  My older brother owns TEH STORE: https://musicvillageusa.com/

He has had no other job than working at TEH STORE, and purchased it from the former owners, who were Jewish (I only mention because it's about to matter). 

On purchase, brother allowed the vituperator (remembered!) to take over managing the books/front end of the store so he could just keep doing his repairs in the back.  At the time, younger brother ran the drum department as well as teaching lessons, and the former owners worked part time and acted as advisors, and were supposed to get some kind of monthly payment until the store was paid off. 

Former owners were very much philosophical about the business, and believed that music, the store, and philosophy, if not specifically their religion were all part of living a good life, and taught this all at once in whatever they did.  The one I had any dealings with would discuss teachings of some rabbi with me while we were moving his house, but it was as much a give and take, not so much being preached to. 

Anyhow...Vituperator took extreme offense to this and asked them to stop coming in to the store, saying they were only spreading their religion.  I have no proof but have it on hearsay there may have been some anti-Semitic language used by her. 

Around this same time, my younger brother had his first child and wanted to adjust his hours.  Vituperator denied the request and he quit working the front of the store.  He was managing all the inventory and orders, having been trained to manage such by Target before. 

For about a year, the person hired to replace my younger brother embezzled from the company.  Vituperator was so good at the books she had no idea.  When that was discovered, the employee sabotaged the books prior to leaving, which caused a huge problem, including losing a couple of vendors. 

At the same time the city tore up the street in front of the business, causing huge foot traffic problems.  And then the economic downturn hit.. 

They kept going back to former owners and restructuring whatever arrangement for purchase they had made during these hard times, explaining all these problems. 

Somehow, despite the struggles, they expanded the store, acquiring the section of the building next door, and my dad, uncles, myself, my boys, etc all went down and remodeled the interior to create a really fine lesson studio.  Really sound dampened (not quite PROOF) individual studios.  Increasing lesson space from 5 rooms to about 20.  Theory, more lessons, more sales.  They rent the rooms to the teachers, so it's theoretically just free advertising and sales. 

While this was 'cheap' due to all the free labor, it is still capital investment. 

With the renovations done, another company offered triple the rent for the space, and the landlord asked them to move to a new location.  They'd pay for renovations at the new place and give them free rent for a few years.  So, we moved the store, remade the lesson rooms at the new location, and they were going to even have some extra left over because we again provided free labor. 

Brother took a trip to Europe at this point.  While I can't be SURE it was from this left over, I have a good guess. 

Former owners say it's time to live up to the monthly if you got time and money to go to Europe. 

Store can't support that monthly fee, former owners no longer willing to re-negotiate. 

Store going to fold, so they just stop paying the monthly fee, get a lawyer and start preparing for bankruptcy to salvage relation with suppliers, specifically making sure former owners going to get screwed.   

Former owners sue.  Bankruptcy.  But most the inventory had been returned to the suppliers at that point. 

Remaining inventory goes to auction.  Parents buy the majority, and wanted me to buy the rest, I was having none of this.  Theory being this will get the store back on it's feet after the legal proceedings and we'll get paid right back.  Among other things my parents buy is several high value collectibles from brother's private collection.  (Custom Guitars signed by the likes of Van Halen) 

Store pops right back into existence a few months later.  There's still HORRIBLE problems with the front of the store. 

It's now years down the line.  My parents have never been paid back, and have allowed Brother to even regain possession of the collectibles, not to sell, mind you, just to have.  Brother and family are taking ANOTHER trip to Europe this year.  Somehow I'm still the bad guy as the store would have come back better if we'd helped, at least according to my brother.  My parents have kind of come to the realization I was not totally wrong in my hesitation to invest in that [poop] show. 

[Geo]

Don't tell me that bankruptcy cleared the debt of your musical brother towards the former owners.

[Unorthodox]

Yes, it did, and was the whole point.  It's [nonsense].

He purposely somehow arranged it that all the other debtors got paid off prior to the former owners.  I don't know the figures, but they got a raw deal all the way around.  It's sickening to me, they practically brought him in as the son neither of them had, and he did this.   

There was a whole legal thing about the name of the store too, he somehow managed to legally keep the name they built up over 60+ years as well.

I have severe ethical issues with the whole thing, and am not shy about stating such when it comes up.  Hence adding to the all my fault problem. 

I never bought in to the former owners being unreasonable line brother was dishing out.  And heard enough to be more than willing to believe the hearsay about anti-Semitic statements coming out of the vituperator's mouth. 

Since his debt was never written down to my parents, that's just never going to get paid back, I guarantee it. 

My brother is lawful evil.

[E_T]

and your the "black sheep"... 

[Unorthodox]

The annual luminaries at the cemetery was Friday. 

I only took Clarence, wanting to play with settings more than necessarily get good pictures. 

The cemetery has a real problem with their tea lights.  Rather inferior quality, frankly.  Thus much darker than year's past in general.  Clarence performed better than expected in the situation, but still had focus issues with the dark. 



There was a new fancy statue at the cemetery.  No plaque around it to let me know what it is for sure...I was guessing Mary, but the rosary make me question that.  I haven't seen Mary with rosary before anyway. 



One thing Clarence did SHOCKINGLY well, though was a pic of the moon. 

[Geo]

One thing Clarence did SHOCKINGLY well, though was a pic of the moon. 

Oh, that's a beauty for sure.
I've had pictures taken through a telescope which were less sharp.

[Unorthodox]

With a crappy kit lens and not a great sky, even. 

I snapped three shots of the moon, only the one turned out, I've got to dig in and see what the hell the settings were that produced that.