Alpha Centauri 2

Community => Planet Tales => Topic started by: Matt the Czar on October 25, 2012, 10:57:39 PM

Title: One Sentence Story: Flight of the Razorbeaks - (A COMPLETED ROUNDTABLE STORY!)
Post by: Matt the Czar on October 25, 2012, 10:57:39 PM

On Apolyton YEARS ago there was a 1 sentence story called the escape from the Unity. It was hilarious, and filled 2 threads.  Why not have our own 1 sentence story?  ???


1.Pravin Lal walked into his the interrogation room marked Morgan Inc. and saw nobody in there; he wondered why the Morganite  probe team took Morgan back only after they stole Lal's personal Mtn. Dew reserve and his sofa.

Title: Re: One Sentence Story: Flight of the Razorbeaks
Post by: Buster's Uncle on October 25, 2012, 11:43:46 PM

2. He began a slow burn of smoldering rage; how was he supposed to function as the Balwark of Democracy without doing the dew?


...

Did I do that right?

Title: Re: One Sentence Story: Flight of the Razorbeaks
Post by: JarlWolf on October 26, 2012, 01:59:49 AM

Pravin Lal walked into his the interrogation room marked Morgan Inc. and saw nobody in there; he wondered why the Morganite  probe team took Morgan back only after they stole Lal's personal Mtn. Dew reserve and his sofa.

He began a slow burn of smoldering rage; how was he supposed to function as the Balwark of Democracy without doing the dew?

Consumed with anger, Commissioner Lal clicked the frequency for Morgan on his communication link to patch through to the diplomatic interface.

Title: Re: One Sentence Story: Flight of the Razorbeaks
Post by: NewAgeOfPower on October 27, 2012, 04:54:52 AM

Pravin Lal walked into his the interrogation room marked Morgan Inc. and saw nobody in there; he wondered why the Morganite  probe team took Morgan back only after they stole Lal's personal Mtn. Dew reserve and his sofa.

He began a slow burn of smoldering rage; how was he supposed to function as the Balwark of Democracy without doing the dew?

Consumed with anger, Commissioner Lal clicked the frequency for Morgan on his communication link to patch through to the diplomatic interface.

"It is customary to remit me a small contribution for the services my forces provide in a legitimate government for this Planet, Morgan."

Title: Re: One Sentence Story: Flight of the Razorbeaks
Post by: Matt the Czar on October 27, 2012, 06:23:33 AM

Lal decide to steal Morgan's Dr. Pepper, for he knew that was the only thing that made Morgan so evil.

Title: Re: One Sentence Story: Flight of the Razorbeaks
Post by: Buster's Uncle on October 27, 2012, 02:18:50 PM

"I didn't start this caffeine war, but by Vishnu, I'll finish it," he thought.

Title: Re: One Sentence Story: Flight of the Razorbeaks
Post by: NewAgeOfPower on October 27, 2012, 10:47:58 PM

"It will cost our probe team 182 EC to steal this base, are you certain sir?"

Title: Re: One Sentence Story: Flight of the Razorbeaks
Post by: Matt the Czar on October 28, 2012, 04:16:05 AM

Lal then saw his Mtn. Dew fridge crash through the window.  He thought it was kind of Mogan to give back the Dew, but that changed when the nitrogen started to enter his lungs. :mad:

Title: Re: One Sentence Story: Flight of the Razorbeaks
Post by: NewAgeOfPower on October 28, 2012, 04:32:01 AM

Damn! Definitely not worth 182 EC, Morgan thought.

Title: Re: One Sentence Story: Flight of the Razorbeaks
Post by: Buster's Uncle on October 28, 2012, 01:22:05 PM

...

"Secretary General?" the medtech said, "The new lungs seem integrated into your system and ready to go.  How do you feel?"

"Thirsty," Lal croaked.

Title: Re: One Sentence Story: Flight of the Razorbeaks
Post by: Matt the Czar on October 28, 2012, 04:29:52 PM

Lal turned on the holotable marked "Miriam" and said to her, " I'll buy you a cream soda and a plasma steel hovertank if you help me destroy Morgan.

Title: Re: One Sentence Story: Flight of the Razorbeaks
Post by: NewAgeOfPower on October 28, 2012, 07:12:45 PM

Miriam:

(http://i.imgur.com/hKYrv.png)

"Give me a Shard Copter and we have a deal." Replied Miriam

Title: Re: One Sentence Story: Flight of the Razorbeaks
Post by: Buster's Uncle on October 28, 2012, 07:33:36 PM

, "And a Coke."

Title: Re: One Sentence Story: Flight of the Razorbeaks
Post by: Matt the Czar on October 28, 2012, 08:10:07 PM

"Okay."  Said Lal when he really thought, " Yes, I get to keep the cream soda!"

Title: Re: One Sentence Story: Flight of the Razorbeaks
Post by: Matt the Czar on October 28, 2012, 08:13:48 PM

Yang was in his den when a giant pair of dice smashed through the ceiling from the floor above and landed as a 2 and 3 then flipped over to make 6 and 6

Title: Re: One Sentence Story: Flight of the Razorbeaks
Post by: Matt the Czar on October 28, 2012, 08:15:44 PM

Meanwhile on Earth, Einstien slowly turned in his grave.

Title: Re: One Sentence Story: Flight of the Razorbeaks
Post by: Buster's Uncle on October 28, 2012, 08:23:35 PM

(Allow me to comment on roundtable stories done this way - I've been involved in about six, most of which actually completed, most of which were ridiculously silly.  Two were very serious stories, one of which resulted in a short novel that isn't terrible.

On that one, we weren't limiting ourselves to one line or sentence at all, and I fell into editing everything as we went, because the lead writer was an ESL German who also usually was drinking when he wrote.  He wrote over half, I wrote maybe a third (the love scenes and short bits to suggest twists to my main colloborator), others made up the diffence.   I need to finish editing that book someday - I didn't like where it was going in the middle and didn't edit about a third at all, and that part desperately needs it.

Anyway, this one is clearly a hopelessly silly one about war, diplomatic manuevering and soft drinks - if everbody's happy with that I sure am.)

Title: Re: One Sentence Story: Flight of the Razorbeaks
Post by: Buster's Uncle on October 28, 2012, 08:29:07 PM

Al couldn't find any RC in Heaven - it was worse than New Jersey that way.

Title: Re: One Sentence Story: Flight of the Razorbeaks
Post by: NewAgeOfPower on October 28, 2012, 09:41:54 PM

"Chairman! The expected Believer mobilization is happening, but along the Morganite border!"

Title: Re: One Sentence Story: Flight of the Razorbeaks
Post by: JarlWolf on October 29, 2012, 10:03:15 AM

Yang raised his eyebrow, a little bit concerned.
"Patch me through to Miriam..."

Title: Re: One Sentence Story: Flight of the Razorbeaks
Post by: NewAgeOfPower on October 29, 2012, 06:56:55 PM

"Yang! Don't even think about intervening with the butt-kicking I'm about to hand to Morgan- I don't care how good your techs are at with playing dice, your Probability Infantry isn't going to stand up to my Shard Copters."

Title: Re: One Sentence Story: Flight of the Razorbeaks
Post by: Buster's Uncle on October 29, 2012, 07:00:34 PM

, Miriam said, "The pilots are full of Orange Soda, and out for blood."

Title: Re: One Sentence Story: Flight of the Razorbeaks
Post by: Matt the Czar on October 29, 2012, 10:43:17 PM

 ;morgan; Morgan saw a brick smash through his inbox. He opened the paper tied to it, which read:

(click to show/hide)

  ;lol ;lol ;lol ;lol ;lol ;lol ;lol ;lol ;lol ;lol ;lol ;lol

"Aw, come on!" he said when a shard copter broke through his solid gold bathroom.  :danc:

Title: Re: One Sentence Story: Flight of the Razorbeaks
Post by: Buster's Uncle on October 29, 2012, 11:01:05 PM

He dropped a solid gold brick.

Title: Re: One Sentence Story: Flight of the Razorbeaks
Post by: JarlWolf on October 30, 2012, 04:05:13 AM

Of which he placed his workers on to increase mineral output for Morgan Exports.

Title: Re: One Sentence Story: Flight of the Razorbeaks
Post by: Yitzi on December 13, 2012, 04:20:07 AM

Right on cue, a boil of Locusts of Chiron showed up to protest, and was distracted and destroyed the shard copter.

Title: Re: One Sentence Story: Flight of the Razorbeaks
Post by: Buster's Uncle on December 13, 2012, 06:26:33 PM

The boil had an odd reaction to the orange soda...

Title: Re: One Sentence Story: Flight of the Razorbeaks
Post by: Rainbow Lizard on December 15, 2012, 11:44:57 AM

At that exact moment, Deidre was in Gaia's Landing, dancing around the trees with a can of Irn-Bru in her Green, Scottish hands.

Title: Re: One Sentence Story: Flight of the Razorbeaks
Post by: Matt the Czar on December 27, 2012, 03:30:07 AM

She wasn't that interested with the war until Poison Ivy was run over by a hovertank. (just finished Arkham Asylum :) )

Title: Re: One Sentence Story: Flight of the Razorbeaks
Post by: Matt the Czar on December 27, 2012, 03:35:17 AM

[Super Friends announcer guy]: "Meanwhile, at the Hall of Science!"

 ;zak; was enjoying a ice cold Nuka-Cola when he stopped to wonder what beverage  ;santi; likes, and if there was such a thing as a song that goes along with artillery piece polishing

Title: Re: One Sentence Story: Flight of the Razorbeaks
Post by: JarlWolf on January 13, 2013, 07:45:05 AM

Funnily enough, the Spartans being the crazed militarists they are have indeed come up with a tune for polishing artillery pieces.
"Polishing my-Artillery guns- with an old fashioned rag!
I got blood on my face, a gun in my place, and I got bullets all over the place.
I will, I will, polish this. Polish this!"

Title: Re: One Sentence Story: Flight of the Razorbeaks
Post by: Buster's Uncle on January 13, 2013, 04:36:26 PM

-In fact, the Scottish regiment did a Irn Bru-fueled bagpipe rendition that even Freddy Mercury's ghost would find a tad flamboyant.

Title: Re: One Sentence Story: Flight of the Razorbeaks
Post by: JarlWolf on January 14, 2013, 01:12:38 AM

Speaking of which...
We Will Rock You bagpipes (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=htuGXTEcaiE#)

Title: Re: One Sentence Story: Flight of the Razorbeaks
Post by: Buster's Uncle on January 14, 2013, 01:39:45 AM

[ ;lol Those Irn Bru-fueled Scottish regiments never let you down with their bagpipe renditions.]

Title: Re: One Sentence Story: Flight of the Razorbeaks
Post by: Matt the Czar on February 11, 2013, 03:10:25 AM

Tragicly, Foreman Domai was about to set in motion global  drone riots and control Planet when a vat of indusrial strenth Mellow Yellow collasped, liquefying him and the entire Free Drone council

Title: Re: One Sentence Story: Flight of the Razorbeaks
Post by: Matt the Czar on February 12, 2013, 01:23:07 AM

nobody cared



Lal was above Morgan (who was begging for mercy) and said, "You still owe me my couch."

Title: Re: One Sentence Story: Flight of the Razorbeaks
Post by: Buster's Uncle on March 28, 2013, 10:22:15 PM

"Fortunately for you, a little club soda will get the stains out."

Title: Re: One Sentence Story: Flight of the Razorbeaks
Post by: Buster's Uncle on April 15, 2013, 12:30:45 AM

[Post a sentence, Nexii.  You know you want to.  Probably all hoped up on Jolt Cola anyway. :D]

Title: Re: One Sentence Story: Flight of the Razorbeaks
Post by: JarlWolf on April 16, 2013, 07:41:43 AM

Unfortunately, fanatical followers of Cha Dawn leaped from behind the couch and threw fungus dust all over the place, which corroded the couch.

Title: Re: One Sentence Story: Flight of the Razorbeaks
Post by: Buster's Uncle on April 16, 2013, 02:22:01 PM

"Great Vishnu!" Lal gasped, "It's the Pepsi Generation!"

Title: Re: One Sentence Story: Flight of the Razorbeaks
Post by: Nexii on April 24, 2013, 08:37:33 PM

Meanwhile, Aki-Zeta 5 slugged down a case of Jolt and plugged herself into the Network Node. "I'm wired," she thought, as the Network Node overloaded from her 'illogical' pun-filled thoughts.

Title: Re: One Sentence Story: Flight of the Razorbeaks
Post by: Buster's Uncle on April 27, 2013, 07:41:31 PM

Wouldn't you like to be a pepper too? (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7t2wn-xE2ik#ws)

The datalinks disruption activated certain horrific doomsday protocols; in a secret bunker far from civilization, the machines in charge began thawing The Peppers to consciousness.

Dr Pepper- Im A pepper Your a Pepper Commercial Michal J Fox (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TuOjKs0Bhg4#)

Title: Re: One Sentence Story: Flight of the Razorbeaks
Post by: Matt the Czar on June 29, 2013, 03:06:00 AM

Clinical Immortality Forums:

Brain in Jar 1: I have better AI.
Brain in Jar 2: Well now mine's 16-terabytes per second, not 8 terabytes like you!
BiJ 1: Now so is mine.  My algorithms are better.
BiJ 2: Oh yeah, well I have blast processing!
BiJ 1: Uh... what does that mean?

The ultimate answer to the ultimate question to the ultimate answer was never transmitted, as the peppers carpet-bombed the forum server with fizzy cherry soda.

Title: Re: One Sentence Story: Flight of the Razorbeaks
Post by: JarlWolf on June 29, 2013, 07:28:32 AM

Foreman Domai, being an undisputed bad ass (that had survived direct fungal intoxification) climbed out of the vat of acidic soft drink, his skin corroded. He got some rebellious engineers to make him into a cyborg, and he then became the DRONINATOR, firing the People's Root Beer at his enemies.

Title: Re: One Sentence Story: Flight of the Razorbeaks
Post by: Matt the Czar on June 29, 2013, 01:24:40 PM

After his mission was complete, he turned to Connor XV and said, "You must lower me into the Code Red.  I cannot self-sugarate."

Title: Re: One Sentence Story: Flight of the Razorbeaks
Post by: JarlWolf on June 30, 2013, 03:18:17 AM

Gripping the chains, he was slowly lowered into the liquid. All of the sudden, the robotic advisors voice for all factions began to plead, "Please don't go, the drones need you. They look up to you..."

Title: Re: One Sentence Story: Flight of the Razorbeaks
Post by: Matt the Czar on June 30, 2013, 03:55:22 AM

"Don't worry, you'll see me in a few years for the sequel!"

Title: Re: One Sentence Story: Flight of the Razorbeaks
Post by: Geo on June 30, 2013, 08:25:31 PM

But Connor XV took pity on the Drones, and hauled Domai up to the ceiling, locking the chaines there, saying "Now they can really look up to you."

Title: Re: One Sentence Story: Flight of the Razorbeaks
Post by: Yitzi on July 01, 2013, 12:15:32 AM

Suddenly, the ghost of Karl Marx appeared, and, with a statement of "you have nothing to lose but your chains", made the chains disappear.

Title: Re: One Sentence Story: Flight of the Razorbeaks
Post by: JarlWolf on July 03, 2013, 08:59:35 PM

And with that Domai fell into a sensor array, knocking it down. A horde of mindworms then proceeded to attack the facility.

Title: Re: One Sentence Story: Flight of the Razorbeaks
Post by: Geo on July 04, 2013, 07:08:12 AM

Luckily the guards waching the facility had just finished their latest cardgame, Mindworm - Mindworm, so were on alert and didn't need a commander shouting "Stay calm - trigger your flameguns!"

Title: Re: One Sentence Story: Flight of the Razorbeaks
Post by: JarlWolf on July 04, 2013, 09:32:30 AM

Then  ;deidre; appeared, emerging with bloodshot eyes and a crazy look from the Centauri preserve, then saw the dead mind worms and said, "Such a conspiracy man... our secret war..."

Title: Re: One Sentence Story: Flight of the Razorbeaks
Post by: Buster's Uncle on April 22, 2014, 03:56:49 AM

...

Later, having meditated sadly upon the nature of war, Deirdre summoned the Gains to her personal Temple of Planet, named Italian Hill, and led them in song...

I'd Like to Buy the World a Coke Commercial - 2271 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2msbfN81Gm0#)

Title: Re: One Sentence Story: Flight of the Razorbeaks
Post by: Buster's Uncle on April 04, 2016, 04:13:50 AM

[I didn't think I was ending the story with that last, but nearly two years later, I guess it wouldn't break protocol too badly to post a couple lines of wrapup and unsticky the thread...]

She had only intended a Gaian peace rally, but when the Planetmind broadcast the song worldwide, everyone was delighted in the decades of peace that broke out...

...Save Santago, on general principals, and Morgan, who held a substantial ownership position in PepsiCo...

The End

Title: Re: One Sentence Story: Flight of the Razorbeaks - (A COMPLETED ROUNDTABLE STORY!)
Post by: Buster's Uncle on March 29, 2018, 07:18:20 PM

[Added to my to-do list: actually compile the whole story into a continuous whole, format, edit only spelling and such, and  add to the top of the OP.  I'll bump again when it's done.]